that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
