Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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