When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
