Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
