C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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