you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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