Sry I called you an 8
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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