I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize
