would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I need a burrito and a hug.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're not piercing ourselves today.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
