Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
