I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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