he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
