yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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