while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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