Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
