she was so not down for the gang bang
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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