the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
ttyl tear gas
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
