Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
