A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
