im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
