Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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