remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My pussy is not your playground.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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