if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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