I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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