yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
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we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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