so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
