I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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