Is it normal to miss your booty call?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
