GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
