i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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