Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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