he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
