i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
