You're my little dorito
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
tell me about the eggs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
