Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
