Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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