I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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