Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
