Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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