How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize