We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
