That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
