What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
