FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
