I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
