My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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