get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's just like the Real World with babies
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
