Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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