I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
