I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
