remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we're making bets on your personal life
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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