but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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