btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
