I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
