Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the day after is always just damage control
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
