is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
ok first of all what the fuck
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
