He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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