Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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