this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Come see our sink grown plant.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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