I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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