My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
