I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
