he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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