you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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